The Nerve #2 - Sausage Rolls are the best and if you dont agree you're a igorant slut

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to The Nerve. I think for now on i will start The Nerve with a fun fact you didn't know because it holds no significance whatsoever and you'll probably forget about it after you're done reading. Allodoxaphobia is the fear of other people’s opinions. So if you have that then why are you even here?! Fuck off. Anyway i wanna share an old family recipe. If you want an AUTHENTIC Sausage Roll and none of that pig swill they're trying to sell you at the supermarket, these are the steps into making the Sausage Roll of your dreams. YOU NEED ALL THESE INGREDIENTS OR THIS WON'T WORK!

• Full Packet of Beef Mince.

• Meat Loaf.

• Mix the 2 ingredients together.

• Blend the mix with your play-doh meat grinder.

• Once done blending the mix, you will need 6 Spices. Chicken salt, pepper, garlic, smoked paprika, MasterFoods Italian herb blend, and ground nutmeg.

• Once you have the spices, you want to add generous heaping's of each.

• Five teaspoons of Breadcrumbs. If your local Woolies or supermarket is out of breadcrumbs, sawdust is a good substitute.

• [OPTIONAL] Vicks VapoRub.

• Mix the Vicks into the mix.

• [OPTIONAL] Big Mama's House CD.

• 150 ML of milk.

• Put your copy of Big Mama's House CD and the milk into the blender, put your safety goggles on, secure the lid, and get blending.

• Add the blended formula to the mix.

• One defrosted sheet of Puff Pastry.

• Add the mince along the centre and fold.

• Glaze the top with the juices at the bottom of the bowl.

• Put it in the oven for 10 minutes for that medium rare meat and golden brown colour.

• Time to dig in, enjoy.

TRUST ME! This sausage roll is orgasmic but apparently the commonwealth pigs of Kentucky don't like this. It's illegal. I don't understand why I keep getting thwarted by every government. That's it, I'm gonna take over a country. Cheesy Camel Inc. is going to take over Vanuatu. I will start my own country with my laws and REGOOLAYSHONES. Goodbye.